Paul said himself that he was the "chief of sinners". pretty bold statement.
i have my own moments where i feel like I am the chief of all sinners past present and future.
i have my times when i falter in a battle against the flesh and fail.
i have my times when im completely ignorant toward what God is trying to say.
when this happens its like somebody has taken me over and is working the controls and im helpless to stop it.
funny thing is, ive let someone take over the controls.
my flesh is enslaved to Satan,
but my Spirit is free in Christ.
this flesh will NEVER be perfect.
my Spirit must suffocate my flesh and pound its face daily.
when i mess up royally i have that feeling of 'that was it. that was the sin that broke the camel's back' when thats def. not true. see, i beat myself up and i think thats fine. but let it be true. i dont want sin to be casual to me, i want to hate it. hate it.hate it. hate it. thats what i want. a pastor i listen to a good bit online said this when asked how to tell if youre not even saved or if youre a Christian struggling with sin, "What do you WANT to do? What do you really want in your deepest desire of your heart? If it is sin, check yourself. If it is to be righteous chances are you're just struggling with sin." i agree 100%. i just... idk. i feel like that tex collector who beat his chest and wouldnt even look up to heaven he would only repeat. I am a sinner, have mercy on me. over and over.
we deserve hell.
we deserve death.
we deserve God's just punishment for our sin.
we're given eternal life.
we're given life.
we're given a judgement free of condemnation.
that fact is starting to blow me away right now. romans 8:28 says all things work together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purposes. Christ is our scapegoat, not our credit card to sin. i dunno what else to type i just needed to type. I'm forgiven because He paid my price. My forgiveness is now a just act 1 john 1:9.
i love you Lord, let me live like it.
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Monday, May 25, 2009
ball buster to Satan
if the title offends, sorry, as far as i know theres only one person followin this blog and shed laugh at it, didnt you. anyway,
i jus kinda write these for me as a weapon of warfare cause when Jesus defeated i believe He did it big time. no little wins. satan just froze my computer up so i know he doesnt like when i write cause i confront him for what he really is. a weiner/wiener. a toothless lion, as i heard before. i believe satan has no power over us but the power we give him. thats a diff topic.
what im gettin at in this in transperancy.
we all struggle. dont lie to yourself
you aint the only one and everyone else isnt the strongest one.
like i said, i confront satan and face him in that way cause its like i let him know hes not sneakin up. i know where hes at and what hes up to. that said
i struggle a lot. this is not said to make it a pity andrew party but to lighten my load as well as yours. we think when we admit our struggles we help ourselves but truth be told we help others because they see they arent the only ones.
a big struggle of mine would be sexual purity. my thoughts dont always line up with things that are "pure, holy, and honorable." they should and i dont condone the fact that they dont but thats a struggle i face. if i get to thinkin impurely long enough it will lead to action. you can think in your head and condemn me now but thats not youre place. yes we are to judge believers as we are believers but ive judged myself. Jesus said to look upon a woman with lust is to commit adultery. you dont even have to lay with her, its your heart. thats strict so im strict on myself.
second struggle that God has shown me both sides of lately is one tha tmight surprise you because chances are you face it to. id almost bet my front 4 teeth you struggle with it.
an ordinary life.
how many of us are fine with settling for living in a nice subdivision with a gate and a keypad where we never see another human outside our home and we make sure we have enough on our paycheck that we dont have to depend on God to supply. now im not saying that having money is un-christian, dont get me twisted, but when money becomes your security, check yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ
thats one of my heroes in the faith. i think we all have them and thats one of mine. he makes a great point about what i just said.
lately God has not let my heart rest unless i put my heart toward full time ministry as a bearer of His gospel. as a youth pastor. He just shows me how open my sched. would be to go when He says go. to do when He says do. im not telling you everyone should be a pastor i just know my soul isnt at peace unless i agree to go toward that.
guys/gals, i go ton here plannin to write a ton but i cant get it out lol. usually i can type instead of talk but i asked God to release my tongue and He's doing that.
ill leave with some thoughts.
satan is a punk. he has no power over you except the power that you give him. you give him that by fearing him. WE HAVE NO REASON TO FEAR satan. NONE. i have no respect for him so he gets no caps. satan, youre a punk, a weenie, a toothless lion, a sore loser, most importantly I WIN!!! bahaha i win i win i win. you may make me stub my toe on occasion but like proverbs says, though a righteous man may stumble seven times, he will get up eight. my life will be lived to glorify God and stomp your face.
dont compromise. cody told me that a while back and i mean a while. it was in the fall i think and it goes into a lot of areas of my life but it keeps popping in my head about my future. one day cody just came up and said God told me to tell you not to compromise. so im relaying the message. what was it Jesus said?
: I have come so that they may compromise a life of greatness for a life of mediocricy.
crap no.
: I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.
the Bible also says our Father is able to fo far beyond all we ask or even IMAGINE.
DO NOT COMPROMISE. not in your walk, not in your choices, not in your temptations, in nothing. God doesnt ask us to compromise. ask Him. Jesus said if we ask we will recieve. if we seek we will find. if we knock the door will be opened to us.
love with the love of Christ.
pray for me and my struggles and ill pray for you.
-andrew
i jus kinda write these for me as a weapon of warfare cause when Jesus defeated i believe He did it big time. no little wins. satan just froze my computer up so i know he doesnt like when i write cause i confront him for what he really is. a weiner/wiener. a toothless lion, as i heard before. i believe satan has no power over us but the power we give him. thats a diff topic.
what im gettin at in this in transperancy.
we all struggle. dont lie to yourself
you aint the only one and everyone else isnt the strongest one.
like i said, i confront satan and face him in that way cause its like i let him know hes not sneakin up. i know where hes at and what hes up to. that said
i struggle a lot. this is not said to make it a pity andrew party but to lighten my load as well as yours. we think when we admit our struggles we help ourselves but truth be told we help others because they see they arent the only ones.
a big struggle of mine would be sexual purity. my thoughts dont always line up with things that are "pure, holy, and honorable." they should and i dont condone the fact that they dont but thats a struggle i face. if i get to thinkin impurely long enough it will lead to action. you can think in your head and condemn me now but thats not youre place. yes we are to judge believers as we are believers but ive judged myself. Jesus said to look upon a woman with lust is to commit adultery. you dont even have to lay with her, its your heart. thats strict so im strict on myself.
second struggle that God has shown me both sides of lately is one tha tmight surprise you because chances are you face it to. id almost bet my front 4 teeth you struggle with it.
an ordinary life.
how many of us are fine with settling for living in a nice subdivision with a gate and a keypad where we never see another human outside our home and we make sure we have enough on our paycheck that we dont have to depend on God to supply. now im not saying that having money is un-christian, dont get me twisted, but when money becomes your security, check yourself.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LA_uwWPE6lQ
thats one of my heroes in the faith. i think we all have them and thats one of mine. he makes a great point about what i just said.
lately God has not let my heart rest unless i put my heart toward full time ministry as a bearer of His gospel. as a youth pastor. He just shows me how open my sched. would be to go when He says go. to do when He says do. im not telling you everyone should be a pastor i just know my soul isnt at peace unless i agree to go toward that.
guys/gals, i go ton here plannin to write a ton but i cant get it out lol. usually i can type instead of talk but i asked God to release my tongue and He's doing that.
ill leave with some thoughts.
satan is a punk. he has no power over you except the power that you give him. you give him that by fearing him. WE HAVE NO REASON TO FEAR satan. NONE. i have no respect for him so he gets no caps. satan, youre a punk, a weenie, a toothless lion, a sore loser, most importantly I WIN!!! bahaha i win i win i win. you may make me stub my toe on occasion but like proverbs says, though a righteous man may stumble seven times, he will get up eight. my life will be lived to glorify God and stomp your face.
dont compromise. cody told me that a while back and i mean a while. it was in the fall i think and it goes into a lot of areas of my life but it keeps popping in my head about my future. one day cody just came up and said God told me to tell you not to compromise. so im relaying the message. what was it Jesus said?
: I have come so that they may compromise a life of greatness for a life of mediocricy.
crap no.
: I have come that they may have life and have it to the full.
the Bible also says our Father is able to fo far beyond all we ask or even IMAGINE.
DO NOT COMPROMISE. not in your walk, not in your choices, not in your temptations, in nothing. God doesnt ask us to compromise. ask Him. Jesus said if we ask we will recieve. if we seek we will find. if we knock the door will be opened to us.
love with the love of Christ.
pray for me and my struggles and ill pray for you.
-andrew
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Devotions for Daily Worship - B.J. Price: A Simple Invitation (Please Read!)
doing what were supposed to do.
spreading some Jesus to the ends of the earth. what better way then the internet.
great blog B.J. Price.
Greater God.
this says it all.
Devotions for Daily Worship - B.J. Price: A Simple Invitation (Please Read!)
spreading some Jesus to the ends of the earth. what better way then the internet.
great blog B.J. Price.
Greater God.
this says it all.
Devotions for Daily Worship - B.J. Price: A Simple Invitation (Please Read!)
Thursday, April 30, 2009
ever eat an acorn?
acorns are nasty. theyre bitter. bitter....hmm....
bitterness. this is the dumbest thing but the easiest thing to harbor inside us and just let it fester. its one of those sins that we try to hold on to because it gives us some kind of feeling. something like were in control i guess. you know the feeling i mean. the one that you just like to have. sometimes you just LIKE to feel sorry for yourself. you can deny it but youve more than likely been there before. you want to feel bad for yourself and see how terrible things are and think 'oh pity me. im a poor poor soul.' as pathetic as that sounds, it's true.
which brings me back to
bitterness.
it's another one of those things that, like i said, we just hold on to because it gives us one of those feelings. we cant let it go or it's like were punkin out to whatever made us bitter to begin with. we cant just forget it, somebody has to pay. revenge has to be made. they have to pay for what theyve done.
news flash.
bitterness is a double edged sword.
while you may think that your bitterness will rain down something awful on somebody else check this, its tearing you down and you dont even notice it. you think youre storing up your ammo to fire on them but its blowin up steadily on you. im sittin here right now seeing the harvest of s bitter soul and, guys, its ugly. its wearin on this person and its prolly wearin a bit on the person theyre bitter at only in a different way.
pride is terrible.
when youre bitter think about this.
what does it prove.
what will it accomplish.
what good comes from it.
nothing.
nothing.
none.
theres your answers.
you being internally bitter only leads to you being externally angry. when the chance to be bitter comes up youve got one or two choices.
be bitter and bottle it up.
or.
dont pay any mind to it.
i try to choose the latter most the time.
there have been times ive chosen the first and its terrible.
you think youre in control, you think youll show them whos boss, you think youll prove to them you cant be pushed around.
YOU ARE RUINING YOURSELF BEING BITTER.
how many people like bitter milk?
bitter candy?
bitter anything?
none. except for the few odd balls.
bitter people arent good for anything.
im rambling just to get this off my chest and cause i havent written anything in a while but know this.
being bitter doesnt solve any problems.
it doesnt prove any point.
it doesnt help your spiritual walk.
it doesnt improve your life.
it has NO positive impact.
God said something like this,
'Whoa chile, leave the revenge stuff up to me. I know what the deal is.'
be like a duck and let it roll off your back.
bitterness only steals the time you could have been joyful in.
holla.
bitterness. this is the dumbest thing but the easiest thing to harbor inside us and just let it fester. its one of those sins that we try to hold on to because it gives us some kind of feeling. something like were in control i guess. you know the feeling i mean. the one that you just like to have. sometimes you just LIKE to feel sorry for yourself. you can deny it but youve more than likely been there before. you want to feel bad for yourself and see how terrible things are and think 'oh pity me. im a poor poor soul.' as pathetic as that sounds, it's true.
which brings me back to
bitterness.
it's another one of those things that, like i said, we just hold on to because it gives us one of those feelings. we cant let it go or it's like were punkin out to whatever made us bitter to begin with. we cant just forget it, somebody has to pay. revenge has to be made. they have to pay for what theyve done.
news flash.
bitterness is a double edged sword.
while you may think that your bitterness will rain down something awful on somebody else check this, its tearing you down and you dont even notice it. you think youre storing up your ammo to fire on them but its blowin up steadily on you. im sittin here right now seeing the harvest of s bitter soul and, guys, its ugly. its wearin on this person and its prolly wearin a bit on the person theyre bitter at only in a different way.
pride is terrible.
when youre bitter think about this.
what does it prove.
what will it accomplish.
what good comes from it.
nothing.
nothing.
none.
theres your answers.
you being internally bitter only leads to you being externally angry. when the chance to be bitter comes up youve got one or two choices.
be bitter and bottle it up.
or.
dont pay any mind to it.
i try to choose the latter most the time.
there have been times ive chosen the first and its terrible.
you think youre in control, you think youll show them whos boss, you think youll prove to them you cant be pushed around.
YOU ARE RUINING YOURSELF BEING BITTER.
how many people like bitter milk?
bitter candy?
bitter anything?
none. except for the few odd balls.
bitter people arent good for anything.
im rambling just to get this off my chest and cause i havent written anything in a while but know this.
being bitter doesnt solve any problems.
it doesnt prove any point.
it doesnt help your spiritual walk.
it doesnt improve your life.
it has NO positive impact.
God said something like this,
'Whoa chile, leave the revenge stuff up to me. I know what the deal is.'
be like a duck and let it roll off your back.
bitterness only steals the time you could have been joyful in.
holla.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009
it's easy to stand in the boat.
what is faith? the bible says faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see(hebrews11:1). pretty good definition i'd say. funny thing about that faith thing.
people have faith in everything. a person close to me told me one day when we were talking that faith is an aspect of life everyday. we HAVE to have faith. people will tie a religious tag to faith a lot of times but in the way she put it, you have faith in your legs to hold you up when you walk. you have faith in that chair to hold you up. things like that. we all live a life of faith each day so to say you have no faith at all is an ignorant statement. you can say that you dont have to have faith in your legs holding you up, its a proven, tested fact. well as far as i know its also a proven tested fact that legs break. you don't take every step of every day scared your leg is going to snap in half, you have faith its going to hold you up. that faith has become so intwined with your life that its just a part of you now and when i speak of you having faith in your legs you think im crazy. well what about faith in Christ? this is my main point for this blog. we all live a life of faith in everything. faith is kind of like glue. it holds things together. you have faith the people that made your hamburger at wendy's cooked the meat well enough. you have faith that the farmer who raised the cattle for that hamburger didnt infect his herd with anything. you have faith in everything, now what about Christ?
the funny thing about faith in Christ is that it's only tested in storms. anybody can have faith that they wont drown standing on the shore but what about when you are out in the waves?
you can talk a talk all day of how you would trust Jesus with it all when everything went wrong, and its awesome that you would say that, but the more awesome side of the story is side B as they used to say on the cassettes, what about when your world is flipped. what about when things change. what about when you dont know your left from right so to say. when you dont know whether to run or just curl up in a ball and wait for it to all blow over. where is your faith then? lately its like Satan was throwin darts at a wall of pictures to decide who he was gonna mess with and, lucky me, all the darts he threw hit me. so here i am, loving life, everything is easy breezy, and then its like all of a sudden i got bombarded. it was a bitter sweet rain seeing as how i found some high points in the storm but they were only clouded out by the dark clouds. great things happened but some things dissapointed. amazing things will come of it but its hard to see the end of this storm right now. (i ramble because writing is one way i face the devil face to face with what hes doing and remind him whats really up) an awesome fact that Jesus said....in this world, youre gonna have troubles. youre gonna face some tough times. youre gonna face some heartache. youre gonna face some seemingly insurmountable obstacles BUT dont even sweat those things bro, I've already whooped it all and am over it. find your victory in Me....... thats paraphrased but its what i get out of it.
back on the faith topic, like i was saying its easy to say you wont drown when youre standing on the shore but when you get out there in the waves is the true test of your faith. will you give up and be overcome by the waves and the storm? will you try as hard as you can to subdue the waves and blow the storm away by yourself? or will you look up and call on God's promises and trust in Him?
it is by no means easy, at least for me, to do that in every area. i feel like there is something i have to do. like God needs some help. like God relies on me to help Him. ive heard people say before that God will do only what we can't do for ourselves. this may have some truth to it but i know that when Lot and his family were told by two angels to leave Sodom and the time came to leave, Lot hesitated and the angels grabbed Lot, his wife, and his two daughters and took them outta the city (Gen. 19:15-16). i'm not backing lazy christians and im not advocating people that do nothing. its like the man in the flood praying for God to save him and he let three boats go by with the response ' i dont need the boat, God's gonna save me.' then he died and when he ot to heaven God told him He sent him three boats. thats ignorant. God sent boats and He passed them up. its hard to explain so if you question what im saying, get in touch with me personally and ill try to explain it verbally.
you see, im tryin to put my mind into the mindset i believe God wants us to have. like a child. fully dependent on Him. like i said before in my other writin, God does NOT need our help, He WANTS it. there is a humoungous difference. to need it would mean that He couldn't do anything without our help. that would put us on an equal level with God because we would have to work together to achieve whatever either one of us wanted. the fact is we aint = to God. i know this might upset some people's religious thoughts of we work together with God blah blah blah. yea, we do, but not out of His necessity, just our desire to please Him and His willingness to let us work with Him. it's like when a dad lets his son wash the car with him. its not because the dad can't wash the car on his own, he allows the son to help him because they have that intimate relationship and that working together grows them closer. our work is brought forth because of our love (1thess1:3) this verse looks like its talking about us working for each other on earth coming from love but is it not true also of us with God? works dont save us so why work? because we love Him. thats a completely different time to write though. i believe my God is in control of everything. when bad comes to me, He's allowed it to be brought. when i'm tested, He is handling it. people say, ''God won't test you. He's only good. He's absolutely good.'' i believe thats why He does it. God knows where our faith stands. He knows how strong we are. a test does two things for us, it really does nothing for God i dont think.
1. it shows us our faith.
-we may talk a big game then when we're tested and come up short we realize our faith doesnt match our mouth.
2. it gives us a chance to increase our faith.
-you can't get stronger on the bench press by talking about lifting the weight or just staring at it. you have to get under the weights.
(sorry if it sounds like athletic analogies, i gotta heart for that stuff. thats why thats where my ministry is. thanks God.)
but the point im trying to make is, when youre on the shore, claim it. claim all day long that your faith will stand in times of struggle. then when youre in times of struggle give it to God. that seems suuuper dooper easy doesnt it. but youd be surprised at how reversed it is.
sometimes its harder to let go than it is to hang on.
the thing about hanging on is its like we tell God "hands off". like were telling Him we've got this under control. we can handle it.
i firmly believe that's the biggest struggle. letting go and letting God as somebody said one time.
its a huge struggle for me a lot of times because it's not physical. its spiritual warfare. my mind set is that if anything is physical, i can and will win at it. it's tangible.
thats why this battle has a whole new set of weapons. a whole new way to fight. you cant fight with jabs and hooks. no more brute strength and grit. its all on God.
10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (ephesians6:10-17)
thats the NLT translation of our spiritual warfare. its not against flesh and blood so flesh and blood weapons do no good. its against satan and his army. notice how the armor is God's. our strength and power needs to be from the LORD. it's God's righteousness. our peace is the Gospel. our very sword, the only thing listed that is a weapon, the only thing that is an attack, is God's very word. its not our rightesouness, our strength, our ok news, or our weapons. God's stuff is the stuff of champions.
i made faith bold in that because thats whats on my mind today and has been for a while. lately ive broken down in tears and just balling with spiritual warfare. i came to the point of where i was tired of persevering just so i could persevere again and again and again. it was like and is like im persevering just to persevere something else but...after perseverance comes fulfillment of the promise. (hebrews10:36)
if youre going through something, know youre not alone. we all struggle and all are called to help each other out. if you see the waves coming, dont look at them, just look up.
God is love.
im through. thanks for reading.
one love. one God.
-andrew
p.s. cat feed.(thas for you steve)
people have faith in everything. a person close to me told me one day when we were talking that faith is an aspect of life everyday. we HAVE to have faith. people will tie a religious tag to faith a lot of times but in the way she put it, you have faith in your legs to hold you up when you walk. you have faith in that chair to hold you up. things like that. we all live a life of faith each day so to say you have no faith at all is an ignorant statement. you can say that you dont have to have faith in your legs holding you up, its a proven, tested fact. well as far as i know its also a proven tested fact that legs break. you don't take every step of every day scared your leg is going to snap in half, you have faith its going to hold you up. that faith has become so intwined with your life that its just a part of you now and when i speak of you having faith in your legs you think im crazy. well what about faith in Christ? this is my main point for this blog. we all live a life of faith in everything. faith is kind of like glue. it holds things together. you have faith the people that made your hamburger at wendy's cooked the meat well enough. you have faith that the farmer who raised the cattle for that hamburger didnt infect his herd with anything. you have faith in everything, now what about Christ?
the funny thing about faith in Christ is that it's only tested in storms. anybody can have faith that they wont drown standing on the shore but what about when you are out in the waves?
you can talk a talk all day of how you would trust Jesus with it all when everything went wrong, and its awesome that you would say that, but the more awesome side of the story is side B as they used to say on the cassettes, what about when your world is flipped. what about when things change. what about when you dont know your left from right so to say. when you dont know whether to run or just curl up in a ball and wait for it to all blow over. where is your faith then? lately its like Satan was throwin darts at a wall of pictures to decide who he was gonna mess with and, lucky me, all the darts he threw hit me. so here i am, loving life, everything is easy breezy, and then its like all of a sudden i got bombarded. it was a bitter sweet rain seeing as how i found some high points in the storm but they were only clouded out by the dark clouds. great things happened but some things dissapointed. amazing things will come of it but its hard to see the end of this storm right now. (i ramble because writing is one way i face the devil face to face with what hes doing and remind him whats really up) an awesome fact that Jesus said....in this world, youre gonna have troubles. youre gonna face some tough times. youre gonna face some heartache. youre gonna face some seemingly insurmountable obstacles BUT dont even sweat those things bro, I've already whooped it all and am over it. find your victory in Me....... thats paraphrased but its what i get out of it.
back on the faith topic, like i was saying its easy to say you wont drown when youre standing on the shore but when you get out there in the waves is the true test of your faith. will you give up and be overcome by the waves and the storm? will you try as hard as you can to subdue the waves and blow the storm away by yourself? or will you look up and call on God's promises and trust in Him?
it is by no means easy, at least for me, to do that in every area. i feel like there is something i have to do. like God needs some help. like God relies on me to help Him. ive heard people say before that God will do only what we can't do for ourselves. this may have some truth to it but i know that when Lot and his family were told by two angels to leave Sodom and the time came to leave, Lot hesitated and the angels grabbed Lot, his wife, and his two daughters and took them outta the city (Gen. 19:15-16). i'm not backing lazy christians and im not advocating people that do nothing. its like the man in the flood praying for God to save him and he let three boats go by with the response ' i dont need the boat, God's gonna save me.' then he died and when he ot to heaven God told him He sent him three boats. thats ignorant. God sent boats and He passed them up. its hard to explain so if you question what im saying, get in touch with me personally and ill try to explain it verbally.
you see, im tryin to put my mind into the mindset i believe God wants us to have. like a child. fully dependent on Him. like i said before in my other writin, God does NOT need our help, He WANTS it. there is a humoungous difference. to need it would mean that He couldn't do anything without our help. that would put us on an equal level with God because we would have to work together to achieve whatever either one of us wanted. the fact is we aint = to God. i know this might upset some people's religious thoughts of we work together with God blah blah blah. yea, we do, but not out of His necessity, just our desire to please Him and His willingness to let us work with Him. it's like when a dad lets his son wash the car with him. its not because the dad can't wash the car on his own, he allows the son to help him because they have that intimate relationship and that working together grows them closer. our work is brought forth because of our love (1thess1:3) this verse looks like its talking about us working for each other on earth coming from love but is it not true also of us with God? works dont save us so why work? because we love Him. thats a completely different time to write though. i believe my God is in control of everything. when bad comes to me, He's allowed it to be brought. when i'm tested, He is handling it. people say, ''God won't test you. He's only good. He's absolutely good.'' i believe thats why He does it. God knows where our faith stands. He knows how strong we are. a test does two things for us, it really does nothing for God i dont think.
1. it shows us our faith.
-we may talk a big game then when we're tested and come up short we realize our faith doesnt match our mouth.
2. it gives us a chance to increase our faith.
-you can't get stronger on the bench press by talking about lifting the weight or just staring at it. you have to get under the weights.
(sorry if it sounds like athletic analogies, i gotta heart for that stuff. thats why thats where my ministry is. thanks God.)
but the point im trying to make is, when youre on the shore, claim it. claim all day long that your faith will stand in times of struggle. then when youre in times of struggle give it to God. that seems suuuper dooper easy doesnt it. but youd be surprised at how reversed it is.
sometimes its harder to let go than it is to hang on.
the thing about hanging on is its like we tell God "hands off". like were telling Him we've got this under control. we can handle it.
i firmly believe that's the biggest struggle. letting go and letting God as somebody said one time.
its a huge struggle for me a lot of times because it's not physical. its spiritual warfare. my mind set is that if anything is physical, i can and will win at it. it's tangible.
thats why this battle has a whole new set of weapons. a whole new way to fight. you cant fight with jabs and hooks. no more brute strength and grit. its all on God.
10 A final word: Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. 11 Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. 12 For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.
13 Therefore, put on every piece of God’s armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in the time of evil. Then after the battle you will still be standing firm. 14 Stand your ground, putting on the belt of truth and the body armor of God’s righteousness. 15 For shoes, put on the peace that comes from the Good News so that you will be fully prepared. 16 In addition to all of these, hold up the shield of faith to stop the fiery arrows of the devil. 17 Put on salvation as your helmet, and take the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. (ephesians6:10-17)
thats the NLT translation of our spiritual warfare. its not against flesh and blood so flesh and blood weapons do no good. its against satan and his army. notice how the armor is God's. our strength and power needs to be from the LORD. it's God's righteousness. our peace is the Gospel. our very sword, the only thing listed that is a weapon, the only thing that is an attack, is God's very word. its not our rightesouness, our strength, our ok news, or our weapons. God's stuff is the stuff of champions.
i made faith bold in that because thats whats on my mind today and has been for a while. lately ive broken down in tears and just balling with spiritual warfare. i came to the point of where i was tired of persevering just so i could persevere again and again and again. it was like and is like im persevering just to persevere something else but...after perseverance comes fulfillment of the promise. (hebrews10:36)
if youre going through something, know youre not alone. we all struggle and all are called to help each other out. if you see the waves coming, dont look at them, just look up.
God is love.
im through. thanks for reading.
one love. one God.
-andrew
p.s. cat feed.(thas for you steve)
Sunday, March 29, 2009
first blog
so i didnt have a clue about blogspot til a friend told me to go read her blogs so i did. and i figured i might as well make myself one seeing as how writing is therapeutic (spelling?) for me a lot of times. anyway, cerealbowl is kinda odd i know but its the first thing i thought of aannndd breakfast is the most important meal of the day and writing is important to me so blah blah.... i called it cerealbowl cause i can. good enough?
when i write a lot of times i just ramble, fair warning.
tonight has been one of those nights that i have sometimes that i really hate. my mind gets flooded with negativity,confusion,dissapointment,complete pessimism,alone-ness, and all that fun stuff. it used to happen a good bit then it stopped for quite a while and now its pickin up again. i know its straight up the devil. thats what he does. all those characteristics are traits of teh devil so i have no doubt its him attacking me on nights like this. see i like to be in control most of the time if not all the time. driving and all that stuff not so much but if it has to do with me and my life and my well being, i like to be filled in on whats going on and whats coming up. right now im at a point where im kinda whirlwinded and its mostly if not totally my fault buut im here now no going back so we just deal with it. if i didnt mention i hate nights like this one was going. if something has the chance of being amazingly good i usually think its gonna be amazingly bad. like i think the awesome things that happen to everybody else are just that. happening to everybody else. theres been a war in my head ever since im starting to understand freedom i have from God through Christ and the simplicity of coming to Him like a child. if youve never thought about it a child is completely dependant on their parent. they look to them for everything. they dont try to provide for themselves. they dont work for themselves. they dont do anything to help their parent out. their parent doesnt NEED their help but they sure do WANT it. not out of need though just because that shows love. i try to live my life by that. come to God as a child, not someone independant. its nearly polar opposite of what the world says. the world says do for yourself. look out for you. be an independant person. God says look to me. Depend on me. Lean on me. God didnt put you on this earth to suffer. just wanted to throw that out there for you as much as for myself. but back to what i was saying about nights like tonight. satan will come at me with whatever he pleases. spiritual warfare is real and if you dont think so its because youre on the wrong side. theres no reason for the devil to attack the people hes already got. i dont know if everything i have said has made ANY sense to anybody but me but this is the bad in a nutshell. satan attacks me with those things i listed at the get go. i start to hate everything and mainly myself. it goes away when i realize the real deal. now.
the awesome part straight from God.
tonight right when i was just ughhhh my phone rang so i jogged on in the room to answer it cause i like to be here wheneevr somebody calls. im not a hard to get kinda person. well it was my boy blewster. i love this guy til the world aint around and even past that. hes my accountability partner but hes just an amzing guy that encourages me and is obedient to God. well he definitely was tonight cause i picked up the phone and the first thing he said was "man i just wanted to tell you i love you. God loves you. and keep fighting. stay strong." well me being the tough guy i am broke down crying. i balled. it was kinda like what people say about when God speaks directly through other people when its harder to hear Him.
i cant shake this monkey off my back. he'll get taken to the woodshed by God but then not too much later he runs back at me and back on my back he is. i know i win. i know i have victory in Christ. this is a fact. but sometimes i feel like David did when he envied the wicked. he envied them but he also understood their end. my end is glory but my road is tough. God carries me because my strength is never enough. He's all i need but sometimes He's not all i want. its bad to say but its true. i want God to be what i always want but there are times the devil puts something in my face and my focus is shifted but its only momentarily. God keeps me coming back. what can i say, im hooked.
sometimes i get worreid and get the mindset of "I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to suffer for being a Christian. I shouldn't have anything good." weeeellll. thats a lie. true, we may be persecuted for being a Christian but my Jesus died for me to live an abundant life. we should feel way blessed b/c we are only slightly persecuted in the U.S. right now if persecuted at all.
God is an amazing God. i would trade it all to continually feel His arms around me. there is NO feeling like that. to be sittin in His lap. theres a song that says, "i wanna sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand. lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heartbeat. Your love is so deep, its more than i can stand. i melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming" that just oozes the intimacy God wants with us and i love it. im finding out that God doesnt always give you what you want. He gives us what we need. He may throw some extras in there but its only the things we can handle and He knows we can handle. if you have a problem with gambling, chances are God won't give you forty million bucks. you get what im saying. im done rambling though, if youve read this much, thanks for being that concerned about me. it means a lot really.
persevere. word of the day.
love and be love. thats whats up.
-andrew
when i write a lot of times i just ramble, fair warning.
tonight has been one of those nights that i have sometimes that i really hate. my mind gets flooded with negativity,confusion,dissapointment,complete pessimism,alone-ness, and all that fun stuff. it used to happen a good bit then it stopped for quite a while and now its pickin up again. i know its straight up the devil. thats what he does. all those characteristics are traits of teh devil so i have no doubt its him attacking me on nights like this. see i like to be in control most of the time if not all the time. driving and all that stuff not so much but if it has to do with me and my life and my well being, i like to be filled in on whats going on and whats coming up. right now im at a point where im kinda whirlwinded and its mostly if not totally my fault buut im here now no going back so we just deal with it. if i didnt mention i hate nights like this one was going. if something has the chance of being amazingly good i usually think its gonna be amazingly bad. like i think the awesome things that happen to everybody else are just that. happening to everybody else. theres been a war in my head ever since im starting to understand freedom i have from God through Christ and the simplicity of coming to Him like a child. if youve never thought about it a child is completely dependant on their parent. they look to them for everything. they dont try to provide for themselves. they dont work for themselves. they dont do anything to help their parent out. their parent doesnt NEED their help but they sure do WANT it. not out of need though just because that shows love. i try to live my life by that. come to God as a child, not someone independant. its nearly polar opposite of what the world says. the world says do for yourself. look out for you. be an independant person. God says look to me. Depend on me. Lean on me. God didnt put you on this earth to suffer. just wanted to throw that out there for you as much as for myself. but back to what i was saying about nights like tonight. satan will come at me with whatever he pleases. spiritual warfare is real and if you dont think so its because youre on the wrong side. theres no reason for the devil to attack the people hes already got. i dont know if everything i have said has made ANY sense to anybody but me but this is the bad in a nutshell. satan attacks me with those things i listed at the get go. i start to hate everything and mainly myself. it goes away when i realize the real deal. now.
the awesome part straight from God.
tonight right when i was just ughhhh my phone rang so i jogged on in the room to answer it cause i like to be here wheneevr somebody calls. im not a hard to get kinda person. well it was my boy blewster. i love this guy til the world aint around and even past that. hes my accountability partner but hes just an amzing guy that encourages me and is obedient to God. well he definitely was tonight cause i picked up the phone and the first thing he said was "man i just wanted to tell you i love you. God loves you. and keep fighting. stay strong." well me being the tough guy i am broke down crying. i balled. it was kinda like what people say about when God speaks directly through other people when its harder to hear Him.
i cant shake this monkey off my back. he'll get taken to the woodshed by God but then not too much later he runs back at me and back on my back he is. i know i win. i know i have victory in Christ. this is a fact. but sometimes i feel like David did when he envied the wicked. he envied them but he also understood their end. my end is glory but my road is tough. God carries me because my strength is never enough. He's all i need but sometimes He's not all i want. its bad to say but its true. i want God to be what i always want but there are times the devil puts something in my face and my focus is shifted but its only momentarily. God keeps me coming back. what can i say, im hooked.
sometimes i get worreid and get the mindset of "I'm a Christian. I'm supposed to suffer for being a Christian. I shouldn't have anything good." weeeellll. thats a lie. true, we may be persecuted for being a Christian but my Jesus died for me to live an abundant life. we should feel way blessed b/c we are only slightly persecuted in the U.S. right now if persecuted at all.
God is an amazing God. i would trade it all to continually feel His arms around me. there is NO feeling like that. to be sittin in His lap. theres a song that says, "i wanna sit at Your feet, drink from the cup in Your hand. lay back against You and breathe, feel Your heartbeat. Your love is so deep, its more than i can stand. i melt in Your peace, it's overwhelming" that just oozes the intimacy God wants with us and i love it. im finding out that God doesnt always give you what you want. He gives us what we need. He may throw some extras in there but its only the things we can handle and He knows we can handle. if you have a problem with gambling, chances are God won't give you forty million bucks. you get what im saying. im done rambling though, if youve read this much, thanks for being that concerned about me. it means a lot really.
persevere. word of the day.
love and be love. thats whats up.
-andrew
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